am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
