She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
