Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
