so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
