Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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