Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
