woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
