If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Randomize
