i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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