Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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