I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
