If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i think i just lost a toe
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
