note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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