I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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