Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she smelled like a LAN party
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
