Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
