Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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