I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
