good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize