I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just cropdusted the office
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
