I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
