ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
