my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
