I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Randomize
