I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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