so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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