yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
