well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
