WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
