Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need water and some morals
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
