i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
