Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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