i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
