Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
