talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
