why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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