U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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