We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
