All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
