It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
