Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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