Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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