I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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