Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
