have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
