I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
