Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
