you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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