i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
