Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
