Don't make out with my wife yet
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
sarcasm needs its own font
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
