Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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