with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
