Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
