Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
