I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
how does that bad decision feel?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
