i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They have beer where we have blood.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
