hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
