I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
