i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
